Joining the Coast Guard :: From the eyes of a woman

Do you know how many hours I googled and researched and poured over threads and videos and articles about the ins and outs of joining the Coast Guard?  A LOT.  And while there was an abundance of information, there were still many questions unanswered.  So here it is, my experience of joining the US Coast Guard!

From the beginning:

When I first decided I wanted to join the Coast Guard I went online to www.gocoastguard.com.  There really wasn't a whole lot of info to see, just to 'Request more Information'.  I ended up finding the Recruiting office email address and sent an email requesting more information, and a request to meet.  A few hours later I received a phone call from the Chief at the Recruiting Office.  He was such a nice guy.  We talked for maybe twenty minutes or so, about why I wanted to join, and he talked about how he joined just to get the GI Bill twenty some years ago and never left.  He stated that 'Coasties' love what they do, and the reinlistment rate is huge.  We went over some logistics, and he told me what to do and expect from there.  He emailed me an application and that was it.
Once I filled out the application, which consisted of a medical questionaire, and some pretty basic information I faxed it back to their office, where I was assigned to my Recruiting Officer.  He later called me back to go over some information.  I had had a head injury when I was 5 years old, and he needed me to request the medical records for that injury, apart from that there weren't any other concerns. However before I could meet with him I had to get those medical records.
That's where the headache began!  I called the hospital I was taken to, and they gave me the phone number to the records department.  They of course were very rude and provided almost no information. They directed me to a website where I had to fill out a request for records.  I did, and faxed it to them.  A week later nothing, a week after that nothing.  I called them and they told me it could take up to a month.  Two weeks later I get a letter saying they don't have the records anymore (great, thanks for making me wait a month to tell me that).  I called my recruiter and let him know they no longer have the records, so he said I just needed to type out a State ment of Recollection for the injury and include the letter from the hospital stating they lost the records.
We scheduled my recruiter interview for a few days later.  In the mean time I had been collecting all the possible paperwork I could possibly need.  I found online a list of documents that I should bring to the interview, and started a binder of all of these documents.
The documents included:
-Birth Certificate -Social Security Card - State Issued ID - Passport (if you have one) - High school and college transcripts - a copy of my application - marriage certificate/divorce certificate (these were the ones he actually wanted, the list also had resume, addresses for last 10 years, employment last 10 years, people you've known (references), awards, etc.  I had all of these things, but he didn't want them ha).  Anyway, he was very impressed that I had everything and that it was so organized (in sheet protectors in a binder).  I also had made him photocopies of my passport, DL, and SSC (however, these copies have to be on individual pieces of paper, NOT all on the same).
So he processed all of my info, and put in a request for me to take my ASVAB and go to MEPS two weeks later.  He said that these dates would be fine UNLESS my medical questionaire wasn't approved, in which case he would let me know.
In the meantime, I had purchased Cliff's ASVAB Test Prep on eBay for $3, free shipping!  HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!!! It's about 3" thick, and not only has each section of the ASVAB broken down into refresher courses, it has a quiz after each section as well as three full length practice tests.  This became my bible.  I brought it on vacation with me.  I read it on a boat, while tanning, in the car (had to dope myself up on dramamine to get through that without puking), I kept it with me everywhere.

It's Showtime..

You take the ASVAB at the MEPS facility.  ASVAB testing opens at 2pm, though you can show up anywhere from 2- BEFORE 5.  Though the earlier the better.  I had to work that morning and MEPS was about an hour away so I got there just before 3pm.  I checked in (had to get a visitor badge, go through a metal detector and have my bags checked).  Since I had a ways to drive to get there, my recruiter set me up to have a hotel that night, so I had my overnight bag with me.
***SIDE NOTE***
What to wear:

--Meeting with Recruiter: DRESS LIKE IT'S AN INTERVIEW

Ignore everything you've read where it says you can show up in gym shorts.  The military is not desperate right now for people, so they CAN be choosy, and they will.  My recruiter specifically complimented me on how I dressed (I wore a professional style dress and heels).  And stated that people show up in gym clothes all the time and they don't take them seriously.
--Taking the ASVAB
Again, dress nice.  You don't need a suite and tie, and jeans are acceptable, but again, this isn't high school... or nap time.  Clean, non wrinkled professional/casual attire is best.
--Going to MEPS (medical and physical)
While I thought I would need to be in ultra casual clothes for this, I was wrong.  I would have preferred to dress more professional, as MOST of the day you are just sitting there waiting to go to your next station, and the ONLY time you do anything physical, your down in your skivies so it doesn't matter what you wear for the rest of it, so again, i'd recommend professional casual.  I wore nice jeans, with a top and a blazer.  It can get quite chilly..

Anway, so I checked in to the MEPS control desk for the ASVAB, and began my "hurry up and wait".  A while later I was called up to the desk again where I had to do a fingerprint scan and photo for their biometrics recognition (basically to prove I am who I say I am when I take the test and do the medical/physical).  Then I sat and waited [again].  A WHILE later I was called up to go to take the ASVAB. I entered a small 'classroom' full of other prospects taking their tests.  I handed over my paperwork and the facilitator took me to a computer where he verified my name, social, etc.  I read over a page of do's and don'ts and began testing.
You can either use the keyboard to answer (all keys are blank except the few you would need) or use your mouse.. I used the mouse.  You are given three hours to test, though each section has a time limit.  I personally BLEW through the test in about 45 minutes tops.  Perhaps I was nervous I'd run out of time, but in all honesty the test just wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  Which makes sense seeing that I studied and studied and studied EXCESSIVELY. YAY.  Although at the time this only terrified me because everyone else took forever, and I was worried I missed a section or I failed or went to quick or whatever.
Anyway after I completed I went back to the MEPS control desk where I was told to sit down again and wait.  I noticed the other applicants waiting had received their test scores and I didn't.  I asked him and he said flatly "your recruiter has yours".  Of course this scared me even more..
It was about 5:30 when I started waiting again, but we had some SLOW movers in the testing room so we were all waiting there until 8:30 he had finally finished.  In the mean time I read magazines and chatted with other applicants.  I'd recommend bringing a book... There is a locked cubby room you keep your overnight bags in by the way.
We boarded a bus and headed back to the hotel where we met with the liason there.  He was not quite as friendly as the other people I had met that day, but it was late so it was understandable.  We filled out more paperwork, signed here, here, there, and here. Were read our rules of the night, -In your room by 10 - no persons of the opposite sex in your room - no pool, - you must check out with him to leave the hotel, etc. But seeing that we got there so late, there wasn't much options to do anything anyway, though if we had arrived earlier, they had laptops/internet, a lounge with a few TV's and I believe video games, board games, etc.
We were assigned roommates and sent up to drop off our bags, then promptly all rushed off to dinner.  Dinner was surprisingly great, and we had a whole list of options to choose from.  It was the hotels restaurant, and they had a specific menu for us.  Dinner of course was free, they had things like burgers, sandwiches, chicken fetuccini, chicken tenders, breasts, etc.  It also included soup or salad, pop/juice, and cheesecake or ice cream.
It was just about 10 so we headed up to bed.  Of course I didn't sleep great, too anxious about the next day.. which was unfortunate as we had to get up SO EARLY. My first alarm went off before 4am.  Roomie and I passed on the showers and just started getting ready.  We headed down to breakfast where we were informed we should not have caffeine or citrus (it throws off your tests), which SUCKED because it was 4am and caffeine is exactly what I needed.
We were herded back onto a bus and taken back to MEPS.
Apon exiting the bus we all lined up outside the doors of the building, where we were broken into lines based on what you were doing (shipping off, swearing in, medical/physical). And were allowed in the building 5 people at a time as they went through the metal detector and bags were checked.  Then we all lined up against another wall with our bags on the floor in front of us while everyone finished up.  Then we headed to the MEPS department where we put our bags away and were sent off to our branch office.  I was the ONLY coastie there so my wait wasn't long... well wouldn't have been long if the guy had showed up on time ;)
Anway when I met with him almost the first thing I said was that I was worried about my ASVAB results since I hadn't been given them like everyone else.  He said he would find out what they were for me a bit later.  He processed some paperwork then I was sent back to MEPS Control desk to wait in another line.  One line to get my colored folder (we all had a different color folder, I assume to prevent mixing folders with someone beside you). Then another line to get scanned and fingerprinted in again (not full fingerprints, just your index fingers).
Then we were all herded in to another classroom where we were to have our medical briefing.  We had one guy brief us on the fact we were having a briefing and another do the full briefing.  Mind you it was SO early, and we hadn't had coffee and it was an hour and 45 minute medical briefing.  We filled out paperwork and each did a breathalyzer test. Then sent out for urinalysis.
Girls and Guys were split up, and two at a time we went in to the restroom where a woman literally watches you pee.  You pee in a cup, and can't take your cup out of her view AT ALL.  Then take your pee to a large window where you hold it and wait for a guy to test your urine (for pregnancy and a couple other things).  You sign off that your sample is yours and then are ushered out.
Next I had the blood pressure test (after waiting and waiting of course).  And actually my blood pressure, which is usually very low, was VERY HIGH. I still think it was his machine.  Anyway he looked concerned and said this could disqualify me. Thankfully he tested again and it was fine.
More waiting and more waiting then blood test.  I've been donating blood for years so this was no big deal, plus I have a fatty vein on my left arm that's easy to find.
More waiting more waiting then had my first medical interview with the doc.  He shined a light in my eyes, checked out my ears and throat, and went over some of my medical paperwork, just a quick scan though.
Then I had the eye exam (after much more waiting, no doubt).  I wear contacts ****BRING YOUR CONTACT LENS CASE**** You do not need to bring your glasses, but have to take your contacts out for the test.  Since I am doing Coast Guard I did not have to do a depth perception test so this was pretty quick.  I looked in a machine and he asked which line I could read: 11a in both eyes, so my near vision was 20/20, then he sent me to a second machine to test my distance, of course without contacts it was very blurry but I chose what I could make out and he messed with some settings and it was clear as day, and he printed out my prescription -2.00 in each eye. They have contact solution there by the way.. So I put my contacts back in and cleaned out my lens case, since my roomie forgot to bring her lens case I let her use mine.
More waiting then off to the hearing test.  Four at a time we entered this small box and were set in individual chairs facing a wall with headphones and a clicker on them.  We were instructed to put the head phones on and whenever we hear a set of three beeps to press the trigger.  This was NOT EASY.  They do all different frequencies, and there are definitely periods of time where there are no beeps at all (which naturally paranoid me since I didn't hear anything).  Don't worry if you are the first one done, apparently you don't all start at the same time. I was the first done, and it was almost 10 minutes before the others were all finished.
That was it for the medical portion, just had the physical left.  More waiting (until all the girls were done with everything), then we were taken to a large FREEZING room with a long bench along one wall.  We were told right away to strip down to panties and bra.
**SIDE NOTE:  there were girls in there in sports bras, in fancy bras, and even a girl with a see through lace bra.  I tried to keep it plain with a pretty basic bra and panties, but again some girls had fancy panties, and one even had boys boxer briefs on.  The nurse didn't seem to care what we had on.
One at a time and in front of everyone you go to the opposite wall and are weighted and measured.  Then told to stand in plie' position (heels together, toes pointed about 45 degrees out).  She's checking your arch here.  You also have to hold your arms straight out and she circles around you checking God knows what.
Once everyone is finished we were broken in to two groups, and 4 at a time we did our exercises.
The exercises  weren't at all for agility, it's just to test that your body CAN do the different poses and positions.  We did the duck walk (quite awkward and not that easy), lots of flinging your arms back and forth, waving your hands about, slamming on your knees, going from sitting on your legs to standing while keeping your hands on your hips, walking on your knees, walking on your toes, walking on your heels. And you bend over towards your toes so she can check for scoliosis.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, though for the more shy girls it was harder, obviously, everyone is staring at your half neked looking a fool.
Afterwards we were given paper gowns to wear, and were told to take off our bra and panties.  One at a time we were taken in another room where the nurse and a doctor (ours was a male) had us sign more paperwork then hop up on the exam table.  He checks your breathing, then you lay back and put your feet up on the table (no stirrups here), and he does a quick breast exam. Then over your gown he pushes on your abdominal area. Then tells you to spread your labia apart.  He lifts up the paper blanket for literally 1 second and says "ok".  I assume he was checking to verify I didn't have male parts.
Then you head back out and get dressed again. Then head back for the final medical interview where he asks any clarifying questions, like your drinking habits, about any other medical issues, etc.
Then back to the medical control desk you wait some more, while they make copies of your paperwork and stamp it approved or disqualified.
It was nearly 2pm when I finally left the medical wing and headed back to the Coast Guard office where the gentleman from earlier says he got my ASVAB scores.. he's shaking his head.. my heart drops.. he sits down.. I say.. "oh god.. that bad?" Then he proceeds to say "you can have whatever job you want, you did incredible on the ASVAB" WOOOOOPWOOOPPPP!!!!!!!ahhhahhaklfjadlfkjasjdflkajsdflajASDFADFAJDF.  I literally screamed!
He took the rest of my paperwork and processed a few things then told me to head back to my recruiters office.
Once I got there I sat with my recruiter and he processed some final paperwork and set up my swear in date and put in a request for my ship date. And that was it.
I don't choose my job until my swear in and sign my contract. So I have two weeks to figure that all out for sure.

And that was it.  Exhausting.  Literally emotionally and physically draining!

So the things to keep in mind:
Have your documents!
Act and dress professional
Wear whatever undies you want, just NO thongs.
No flip flops, whatever shoes you wear, you must have socks.
Be patient, and definitely friendly.  Yes ma'am, yes sir, thank you, good morning, etc etc.

Yay.  That's it.  I guess I'll give an update when I swear in :)

So, after weeks and weeks of studying.  And even studying things I don't have to know yet (like the phonetic alphabet.. alfa bravo charlie delta echo foxtrot golf hotel india juliette kilo lima mike november oscar p quebec romeo sierra tango uniform victor whiskey xray yankee zulu .. haha just wanted to see if I remember... wait.. what's P.... peter? ugh Idk, let me check. PAPA.  There we go.
Anyway, it was nice to go home, go to bed, wake up, and not worry about studying and learning and remembering.  The hard part is over (until boot camp of course).

If you are joining, best of luck! Let me know if you have any questions!

Random Tips and Tricks I have up my sleeve

Prevent Freezer Burnt Ice Cream:

Sometimes there is a really fantastic flavor of ice cream you just want to savor.  And by savor I mean draw out the consumption process as long as possible to extend out your continual level of happiness.  The downside to this is that nasty crystallized mess at collects on top of the delicacy beneath.  Solution: cut out a small piece of wax paper and press against the remaining ice cream. Voila! (plastic wrap would work as well).

Transporting a big knife (you know, to a picnic):


So I spent the 4th of July in Idaho on the lake in the sun.  I had this brilliant idea to cut a whole in a watermelon and pour watermelon schnapps inside. So we are about to go out on the boat, and I didn't want to carry the watermelon down to the dock dripping everywhere so I grabbed the melon and grabbed a knife and out I went. Safety first of course, so I wrapped the knife in a clump of aluminum foil and threw it in my bag.  Now of course, this IS NOT fool proof, but it did cover the sharp edges, and made it substantially safer to transport.

Watermelon Bomb:
Cut a square hole out of a watermelon about 1"
Insert bottle of your favorite alcohol, I stuck with the safe and pansy Watermelon Schnapps
(you can either pour it until full then wait and continue the process, or if you are craft enough for it to drain slowly direct from the bottle then YAY for you!).
Keep the square you cut out so you can replug your hole.
..replug the hole.  I covered the plug and hole with duct tape to prevent leaking since I was on a boat.
Every so often remove tape and plug and fill with more alcohol.
The longer you soak it in the better.
Slice and enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

I did some googling and found an excellent take on this idea... though her way seems a bit messier..
http://islandvittles.com/2010/07/11/sunday-lunch-vodka-infused-watermelon/

Traveling with Jewelry:

You know, Tin Foil is the most amazing creation in the world.. I'm pretty sure... well, I guess except for the Honey Lavender Ice Cream they are serving at the delicious Ice Creamery down the street. Anyway, so I have an abundance of jewelry (all costume cheapo stuff of course), and I have this OCD with being extremely color coordinated, so you can imagine I'm a severe over packer.  So I have always had a dilemma with transporting my necklaces and came up with the brilliant idea one day of laying out a piece of foil, then laying all of my necklaces about an inch or so apart then folding the necklace and foil over the next necklace and foil, until I reach the end.  Are you picturing it? Essentially it becomes a foil roll of beauty.

So it stinks doesn't it?

So vinegar is another one of those miracle products you know?  Anyway, Vinegar does lots of crafty things.  Like you can pour it in to a dye bath and your color will adhere better.  But better yet, you know when your towels sometimes start to smell like mildew?  Maybe you have bad air circulation in the bathroom, or maybe you didn't hang it up and let it fester in a damp state (tsk tsk). Anyway, there is hope!  You can throw all those towels in the bathtub with hot water and a TON of regular ol white vinegar (they sell it cheap in the big gallon size bottle).  Let it sit a bit and transfer them all to the washing machine and wash as usual.  Another alternative is to just dump several cups of vinegar directly in to the washing machine itself and run a load as usual, although it just works better to let it soak in the tub.  You can do this every once and a while but it does last pretty well!

Another thing you can do with vinegar:

Let's say you have a smokers or pet odor problem, perhaps the room with the kitty litter? Vinegar is a neutralizer, so if you pour vinegar in a bowl and set the bowl (somewhere safe) in the room for a few hours the odor will soak in to the vinegar.  What you'll notice is the vinegar will start to reek! haha, but it removes the odor from the room!  Granted you'll be smelling vinegar for a while, but removing the odor instead of masking it is always a plus.

And of course you have the other fantastic uses of vinegar:
-some plants thrive on acidic soil, like Azaleas, mix some vinegar in with water when watering them.
-other plants choke on vinegar (great for killing weeds, spray on full strength on sidewalks and driveways, just be careful it will kill the other plants as well.
-Fresh cut flowers? Add 2 tbsp of vinegar and one teaspoon of sugar to the vase
-Ants HATE vinegar (and cinnamon).. I'm just sayin
-Itchy skin, bug bites? Add a few tablespoons to bath water, for bug bites soak a cotton ball and apply driectly
-APPLE CIDER VINEGAR is a miracle 'feel better' aide.  Great for the flu, the cold, and curbing appetite

Ok enough about vinegar..

DROWNING IN CLUB CARDS!!!

So maybe you are like me, maybe you're not.  But if you are, you don't carry around a purse because you have an irrational fear of your shoulder falling off (fear created from too many years of BIG bags being in style, allowing me to store my entire apartment in my purse), anyway needless to say my little coin purse containing my DL, cash and Debit card gets full reeeeaaaallll fast, too fast to be carrying around the endless number of club cards I was toting around.  Check out this site: http://www.justoneclubcard.com/ to have up to 8 different club cards combined in to just one.  It's brilliant.

Ready to up and have a sex change because you can't find a bra that fits?

I know.. this seems quite rash, however after many many many shopping trips ending in frustration over Muffin Top Breasts I put my tail between my legs and headed to Nordstrom's.  Now I am NOT a big advocate of overpriced brands.  In fact I generally steer clear. It kind of goes against my spending the least amount as humanly possible gene, however bras are where I finally drew the line.  Perhaps you are lucky and any ol' bra at Target or Penny's will fit you fine.  Great, Fantastic, RUB IT IN WHY DON'T YOU?  However, if you are frustrated, and plane old tired of trying on the 6 at a time limit of bras everywhere you go, then truck yourself on over to Nordstrom's.

Here is my experience.  I enter Nordstrom's and make a beeline for the escalator up to the third floor... trying to avoid eye contact from any salesperson passerby.  Successfully make to the the unmentionables section and sigh a bout of relief.  I am almost instantly approached by a cheery, cushy, red headed helper asking what it is I am looking for.  I don't beat around the bush here and just say "UGHHHHW WAAAAAA WOAH IS ME I CAN'T FIND A BRA BLAHHHHHHHHH" .. or maybe it was more like "uhhh you know I'm just real frustrated with the lack of bras that fit my obviously odd shaped womanhood".. Red head chuckles and says well, lets get you fitted and I'll bring some options to you. That's it. No looking around on my part at all, just headed in to the fitting room.  Remove my clothes (FYI, don't wear a dress when you go.. and DEFINITELY don't wear a thong.  WHOOPS!). And she measures me up, now some of you might get the heebie jeebies over the thought of this. Suck it up. Do you want a bra that fits or not?  It's just boobies. ;)
Anway, she departs my fitting room and I stand here half neked awaiting her return.. I'm staring in the mirror wondering if it's broken or if I really have gained some wait, when she returns with her arms full of an array of bras. I try on a few she takes a look we discuss the pros and cons, she takes some bras out and brings a different batch in. Over and over, I must have tried on the whole store I was so excited they were fitting!  So I GUESSSS I have to admit that sometimes paying more is worth it.  I ended up only leaving with two.. because they are balls expensive, though I happily would have left with my own arm full.  But the moral of the story, get your boobies measured and get yourself a quality bra.
SAVE THE TATA'S!

Anyway, I suppose that is good for now, I'll have to compile a list next time as I complete odd tips and tricks I do, it's hard to be put on the spot you know!

Best Toothpaste on the Planet

You know what I hate about toothpaste?  It's disgusting.

You either have the really foul tasting kind, that makes you want to gag as soon as it touches your tongue..
 ... or the gritty kind, with baking soda, that is so thick and pasty, that it makes you want to gag..
 ..... or the ridiculously flavored ones, that try to trick you into thinking they'll taste good, but they don't.. which in turn, makes you want to gag.

Solution:  Crest Whitening Expressions : Wintergreen Ice

The thing about this toothpaste is that it literally tastes like Winterfresh Gum.  It is the perfect mix of a flavor I actually like, with the effectiveness I need in a toothpaste.

I came across this beautiful creation November 7th, 2009.  I know this because I totaled my car that day.  I was vehicle-less and stranded about an hour and a half from home, and stayed a few days at a friend of a friends house (with the friends of course.. they were visiting from Pittsburgh).  Anyway, I didn't have toothpaste (obviously.. as I wasn't planning on wrecking my car). Before bed I entered the bathroom, applied some of this on my finger, and began my attempt at 'brushing' my teeth.  I was instantly amazed at the sheer wonder of this product.  I love it.  I had to have it.

Once my vehicle situation was figured out I immediately trekked over to the nearest Wal-Mart where I picked up a tube. Then another tube.. and another few months another tube.  I can't get enough of this stuff.

When you are passionate about a product, you have to let everyone know.

Whenever I go overnight anywhere, I bring along this toothpaste and force everyone to give it a try.  I get strange looks.  But their minds are surely soon blown.

It's Pie-day Pie-day

Well hello there!

Ever since Rebecca Black released that [ingenious].. song, every Friday I think of Pie (Pie-day Pie-day Gotta get down on Pie-day).. clever, eh?

Anyway, so I wanted to post about my love affair with baking these beautiful creations.

Now, let me express to you, that I have no idea what I am doing. I have no experience or teaching except the experience I personally gain from teaching myself.  I'm one of those bakers/cooks that follows the... idea of a recipe but runs on a slightly off course direction.  I have to make it my own after all.. right?

The biggest thing I would like to imprint on any of you fresh bakers out there, is CORNSTARCH.  If you are making a fruit pie, you simply can't do without it.  And if a recipe calls for tapioca beads, IGNORE that and go for cornstarch.

You see.. I tried the Tapioca beads before, and they make your filling kind of ugly.. like there's itty bits of Styrofoam floating about.  Perhaps I did it wrong, but it didn't attain the effect I wanted anyway, but behold, the beauty and wonder of a few tablespoons of Cornstarch.  There is nothing worse than a runny fruit pie.. It's embarrassing.

Anyway, here are some of my creations :


Toasted Coconut Cream Pie

I'm not usually a Coconut fan (love the flavor, not the texture), but toasting the coconut changes everything!!However, my crust is looking pretty weak ;)

Peanut Butter Lover

Peanut Butter pie seems to be a crowd pleaser! And though I am not the biggest fan, I can't help but to have a slice myself.  I like to melt down Nutella, and line the graham cracker crust with it before putting in my mixture.  

Delicious!

Berry Blend Bonanza

... That's not the actual name of it.. I just thought it sounded nice ;)

This is especially one of those pies you want to mix cornstarch in to.  I made this one with the Tapioca beads and it was so runny. It smelt and tasted amazing, but  it was definitely embarrassing that all the filling poured out as soon as you removed a slice!

 Deep Dish Caramel Apple
       (with a Cinnamon Toasted Crust)


There is nothing like a hot and fresh apple pie. Especially when you throw in actual caramel soft chews!

So the typical things that ruin apple pie is if the apples aren't cooked through, and if it's too runny.  You already know how to fix the runny issue, but I like to simmer my cut apples on the stove for a bit first to soften them up.  You just throw them in a deep pan with some brown sugar, cinnamon, and cornstarch, for maybe 8 minutes or so, and that will give them a good start. 

 Sweet-N-Salty Strawberry Perfection

So, I definitely made that name up.. as I don't remember what this is called.  It was a special request and I had to google the recipe.  But would you believe it, the crust is made of crushed pretzel sticks.  Don't grimace, it was delicious.  It's followed up with a strawberry infused cool whip mixture, then topped with real strawberries mixed into strawberry Jello. It's surprisingly refreshing!

Blueberry Cobbler

So, anything Blueberry is pretty much amazing.  But I wanted to share this picture because it's a perfect example of what I mean by runny pie.

I didn't follow a recipe here, just kind of went for it, and did not use any thickening ingredient.  You can see the blueberry juice in the spoon!

This still tasted heavenly, but Cornstarch would have made a huge difference in the appearance!

RAINBOW CHEESECAKE!!!

This was really fun to make.  It's my same old Cheesecake recipe, which was given to me from a co-worker years ago, who found it LONG ago out of a magazine!

 It uses FIVE packages of cream cheese!!! 

Anyway, after mixing the batter like usual, I divided the batter into four different bowls, and used a [generous] amound of food coloring.  

You could use much less and get a more pastel tint which would probably be great for 

Easter, or maybe just doing Green for St. Patrick's, fun fun!

Anyway, after mixing the food coloring in, you just pour in the colors one at a time. You could toothpick in some spirals if you'd like, but this was my first time, didn't want to get too crazy.

Doesn't it remind you of the food fight seen in the movie Hook? hahaha

Anyway, Enjoy PIEDAY!!!!! and Have a great weekend ;)

So you want to make a tutu, don't you?

I find it completely normal for a twenty-something year old to want and or [need] a tutu.  It's natural.

Anyway, So I began my googling, my eBaying, and my Amazon searching, and come on retailers, I knooow these are astronomically overpriced.  I have this argument with myself daily.  If there is any shred of possibility I can do it myself, ughhh then I do!

As much as I love JoAnn's with the rest of you,  I do however tend to resort to the internet prior to shopping there.. Maybe it's because I live in a tiny little horse town and the closest JoAnn's is a good 35 minutes away, or maybe it is because the internet is a beautiful, wonderful creation.

So eBay it was.  The main ingredient to a good tutu is tulle.  Now you can buy tulle in the same form you buy fabric, but that just causes more work.  I'm about efficiency and keeping as many pretty pennies as possible.  So my recommendation is to go straight for a 6" spool of tulle, the length completely depends on how poofy you want it. Me? I like em poofy, abundantly poofed up.

eBay has tons of tulle, so look around for the best price (factor in shipping!).
<-- Look at these!!

Choose your favorite color(s), but keep in mind it won't be this bright. Tulle is a very thin material.  My friend bought light purple and light pink and white tulle, and her tutu just looks all white. That's why, I also recommend ORGANZA!! The color will definitely pop with Organza, not so much with tulle.

The only other supplies you need is the waist band.  Now you can do the legit thing and measure out some elastic, orrrr you can do the easy, quick, cheap, convenient thing, and grab one of these ->>>>>>>>>
from your drawer (or buy them if not readily on hand). If it seems like it will be too tight, IT DEFINITELY WON'T. I worried about the same thing, but I ended up having to cut and retie to make it more snug.  As you tie on the tulle, it stretches out the band, so don't worry about a thing!

Oh... and if you are a girly girl like me, you may want to buy some sparkly gems to glue on. 

Ok, next, do you have a rubbermaid storage container?

Just a standard sized one will do. Keep in mind I like to be efficient.  Of course you can sit there and measure out a million pieces of tulle, or you can take that spool, tape down an edge on one tip of the lid, and just wrap the spool until you get to the end. Go LENGTHWISE, otherwise your tutu will fit... your infant.

 I didn't take a picture of this process, so I apologize for the Microsoft Paint depiction.
I used 50' of tulle, and 50' of Organza (in different colors). Wrap them (again lengthwise) around the lid of the storage tote (have one end taped), until you run out of spool. Then cut EACH END at the handle. This will give you plenty of about 20" (guessing.. I didn't measure) strips.

Next, you'll want to take your headband / elastic and place it on something like a chair. 

Ok, you are now ready to get this party started.

Take a strip of tulle / organza and fold in half.
Place the looped end up behind the elastic
Then, take the free ends and pull them around the elastic, and through the loop, pull tight.

Go around and around and around. 

I did all of my tulle first, then the organza to ensure even distribution, alternating the two different colors within the white tulle.

Remember, the more you add, 

the larger the elastic becomes.

Push each strip tight against the strip beside it.

And, like I said, if you wanna be a girly girl (like me), then go ahead and use some craft glue to attach some sparkly happiness.

 All done!!!

This is the perfect length to fit under those cute adult Halloween costumes that need a little extra poof!

Also... it's just kinda fun to prance around in.

Nautical Themed Pashmina Afghan

So here's the conversation:
     "Hey, since you're the Queen of eBay and all, any chance you find could a Nautical Themed Pashmina for me?"
     "Uhhhh, sure. Like any nautical themed scarf, or do you have something specific in mind?"
     "You havn't seen, "I'm On a Boat?"
     "... no" - I begin googling Nautical Themed Pashmina and find this:

     "Ohhhh, you mean Lonely Island, I'll do my best"

So began my eBay search, with no luck, my google search, amazon search, yahoo search, bing.... and all to no avail.  These crafty little fingers started tingling, and I knew what I had to do.

Back to eBay I did some searching for the best deal on navy colored Pashmina's.  As it turns out I needed to make five of these suckers! I sent several messages to sellers looking for a wholesale discount, and finally came to getting them for about six bucks each. 

Next came the anchors.  I was able to find what appears to be the EXACT anchor used on the Pashmina above on eBay, but I didn't like the price.  I messaged the seller, letting her know I needed about 100 of the anchors, and she replied back that I can purchase them direct from her website, and with the provided coupon code get them substantially less!  So if you ever need patches http://www.patchworkpandatrims.com/servlet/StoreFront is the place to go!.

So! Everything came in (took a few weeks), and finally I was ready to get things started.  Honestly it was a really easy process.  I placed the anchors spiratically on one side of the Pashmina, being sure to leave them heavily patched on the bottom, not so much in the center, and ironed them on.  

Voila!

Here is the finished product, and below; the video and therefore inspiration:

In Limbo... so let me use your house

 I am, what I like to call "in Limbo" in life.  I moved across the country a year and a half ago. Just packed up my SUV with as much as the Space Saver Bags would allow me to, and trekked 3,400 miles from Virginia to Seattle.  I am in transition right now as I decide where to go from here; as here, doesn't seem to be right for me.

 I attribute this to the severe lack of family in my constant presence. ....... and dammit it rains too much.

Anyway, so I am getting ready to move, again stuffing that same SUV with a "new and improved" batch of Space Saver bags.. wish me luck.. as last time the bags re-inflated mid trip.

3" QUEEN sized Memory Foam Mattress Topper Before and After

But seriously? These things are amazing. Just look at this  ^ ^ ^

All this to say, I still have that itch to create, so I have this ... convenient habit of doing my creating at my friends houses.  I am the first to volunteer for any sort of painting, de-wallpapering, and well any way I can get my crafty little fingers in the mix.

I have this inability to buy overpriced products to do a task which can be completed... at no cost.  I mean, maybe it's just me, but my wallet isn't large enough to succumb to pointless purchases. A year or so ago, I was helping a friend redecorate her living and bath.  There was this terrible wallpaper left from too many seasons past, and she had purchased a Wallpaper Removing Kit.

Now... you would think this would make the removing job easier, and I was quite interested in trying it out.

So the process is this:
With a provided tool, you score the wallpaper.  The kit we choose scored it in a flurry of circles as you moved it up and down.  I was instantly nervous... I don't wish to remove wallpaper in a fashion of peeled off polka dots, yet that's exactly what we did.  After scoring, you spray this solution that is supposed to soak down in to the adhesive so it is 'easy' to peel off. Easy........ uhhhh no.  I don't know how long the three of us were crammed in that little bathroom peeling and scraping and scoring and muttering under our breath, but we eventually, tiresomely, and without a doubt fffffinallllly finished.

A month or so ago a different friend needed to de-wallpaper her kitchen. OOH! Memememe! Yes, even after the nightmare in the bathroom I still wanted to have a go.  Though this time I called my momma.  "Momma, good God, please tell me you have some tips and tricks for dewallpapering". Her response? Fill a spray bottle with warm water. DON'T score.  Just spray it, no... soak it, and wait.

Before we had the patience to let it soak.

So we started off spraying and scraping, but it began a tedious task of peeling off tiny pieces.. which is definitely not the desired effect.  I went ahead and sprayed the work space ahead, then sprayed it again.. waited a bit and sprayed it again. And to my surprise, I peeled off the most wonderous sheet of wallpaper I could have hoped for.  Now this isn't a magic make it fast trick here, you still have plenty of peeling and scraping to do, but this was without a dime spent, and much muCH MUCH easier, and faster, and did I mention thriftier?? You just keep spraying and keep soaking, it will peel right off. Now I used a knife to get my sheets started (I'm an avid nail biter.. 'nuff said), but I would imagine a putty knife might be a safer bet if you... you know.. are like me (avid nail biter).

So, the moral of this story? Don't buy the Wallpaper Remover Kit.  Just empty out a Windex bottle (or in my case Giddy Up 409) and go to town!

See the joyous expression! Much better now!!!

Oh... and if you live in the area and need some painting, refinishing, grouting work done, pick me pick me!

So I taught myself to Sew.

Growing up, I so vividly remember excitedly perusing through countless McCall's catalogs at JoAnn Fabrics, looking for the perfect dress.  I've always been a dress wearer, so much so that there is video record of a five year old me bawling my eyes out when I saw my mom had laid out jeans for me to wear. Jeans. for ME.to.wear.   I held my head in my hands an you could hear a muffled "but I'll look like a boooooyyyyyy".

Five children, not to mention five girls - each just a year apart, well, it can get pretty spendy clothing us; so these JoAnn trips were like Disney World to me.  I got to pick my dress AND several different fabric patterns I wanted the dress in.  I could care less that I wore a different variation of the same dress all summer, it was incredible.  I felt like I had my own custom clothing designer, no one wore what I wore; while other kids made fun of my 'home made' clothes, I felt privileged, and proud.

Needless to say, it was pretty destined I would end up sewing for myself one day.  It all happened one day my freshman year of high school.  I missed the bus, and my dad was long gone on his way to work.. I had no ride, and have never been a huge television junkie; so somehow I ended up cutting up a few towels and hand sewing a beach bag.  I was abundantly proud of what I had made. From nothing.  I had no sewing supplies, but I found a small sewing kit in my dads things and went to work.  I showed my grandma that night, and she was so impressed we went straight to Wal-Mart to get my very first sewing machine.

Now, from far away it may seem I know what I am doing, but don't be fooled.  I most certainly don't.  A favorite saying of mine, "fake it til you make it".  If you just have the balls to go for it, it will sometimes just work.  So here are some of my creations!

This is one of my favorites.  It fits perfect. It is simple, but the pattern is appealing.  I am a sucker for brown, and a lover of empire waists.

I was so pleased with the outcome I made it in red too!

Sometimes, it just works out the way I want it, but don't be discouraged when it most definitely does not.

<-- Case in point. This fabric is the same as the above brown but in light blue. I don't know if it is solely the change in color, or the fact I made it in to a dress with pleats, but this looks like it should be hanging on a window... not my body. Needless to say, I believe this has ended up at Goodwill.

And then there is this -->

While it doesn't look horrendous in this photo, I mistakenly used a shiny leopard fabric, which in combination with  the wide sleeves and loose fit of the dress, it looked like I was parading around this horse town in my bathrobe. 

You win some, you lose some!

Sometimes I just really get in the mood to do some sewing.  I'll go blow a hundred dollars at JoAnn's, knock a few out, then don't look at the machine again for a while.  I have a pile of dresses waiting to be made, and I keep making the excuse that my machine is at my friends house (another exciting project, homemade headboard, pillows, curtains, and ottoman cover!!). Ahh well, at least the sewing patterns are pretty to look at: 

Why Rhapsody's Rescue

Rhapsody's Rescue is the name of Locksmith business my mother started in the 80's.  It was just her and her light blue cargo van, with "Rhapsody's Rescue" scrawled in cursive along the side. She was known for being... not what you would imagine to show up when you are locked out.  My pretty little momma, long red hair, doused in freckles, and the best damn locksmith you'd ever imagine.


I went to visit my mother recently, in Carlsbad, CA.  Every time I see her I try to draw as many stories from her as possible.  Her life interests me abundantly, and I simply can't get enough of the things she has to say.  She tells me of the agreement she made with the local limo company; that she would locksmith for free, as long as when my father came back from sea they would take her to pick him up; his Navy buddies seething with jealousy.


My mom is smart woman.. always using the resources provided to come up with the best possible solution. Talk about making something from nothing;  I have countless "poor man" recipes that she used religiously to feed all her little chickadees.. and their friends.






Speaking of chickadees, I am the youngest of 5, no 6, no 7..  I grew up with four sisters, but as life would have it, I have two brothers as well, one from mom, and one from dad... both named Joshua.  My sisters and I were all 'gifted' with musical names; which throughout my life has proven to cycle from gift to curse to gift again.  All in all, I suppose I like having a unique name, and a themed family, though I am not sure how Harmony, Melody, Rhapsody, or Symphony feel.  That's right, there is a Rhapsody.. hence the inspiration for Rhapsody's Rescue.


And that is pretty much what this is all about.. making something from nothing... or at least something from just a little.  I love to create, and though I realize there are far more talented beings out there, I enjoy the accomplishment of the end result.  This is about the things I make, the brands I like, and the money I save in doing so.  So, here goes something.