Friday, July 15, 2011

Joining the Coast Guard :: From the eyes of a woman

Do you know how many hours I googled and researched and poured over threads and videos and articles about the ins and outs of joining the Coast Guard?  A LOT.  And while there was an abundance of information, there were still many questions unanswered.  So here it is, my experience of joining the US Coast Guard!

From the beginning:

When I first decided I wanted to join the Coast Guard I went online to www.gocoastguard.com.  There really wasn't a whole lot of info to see, just to 'Request more Information'.  I ended up finding the Recruiting office email address and sent an email requesting more information, and a request to meet.  A few hours later I received a phone call from the Chief at the Recruiting Office.  He was such a nice guy.  We talked for maybe twenty minutes or so, about why I wanted to join, and he talked about how he joined just to get the GI Bill twenty some years ago and never left.  He stated that 'Coasties' love what they do, and the reinlistment rate is huge.  We went over some logistics, and he told me what to do and expect from there.  He emailed me an application and that was it.
Once I filled out the application, which consisted of a medical questionaire, and some pretty basic information I faxed it back to their office, where I was assigned to my Recruiting Officer.  He later called me back to go over some information.  I had had a head injury when I was 5 years old, and he needed me to request the medical records for that injury, apart from that there weren't any other concerns. However before I could meet with him I had to get those medical records.
That's where the headache began!  I called the hospital I was taken to, and they gave me the phone number to the records department.  They of course were very rude and provided almost no information. They directed me to a website where I had to fill out a request for records.  I did, and faxed it to them.  A week later nothing, a week after that nothing.  I called them and they told me it could take up to a month.  Two weeks later I get a letter saying they don't have the records anymore (great, thanks for making me wait a month to tell me that).  I called my recruiter and let him know they no longer have the records, so he said I just needed to type out a State ment of Recollection for the injury and include the letter from the hospital stating they lost the records.
We scheduled my recruiter interview for a few days later.  In the mean time I had been collecting all the possible paperwork I could possibly need.  I found online a list of documents that I should bring to the interview, and started a binder of all of these documents.
The documents included:
-Birth Certificate -Social Security Card - State Issued ID - Passport (if you have one) - High school and college transcripts - a copy of my application - marriage certificate/divorce certificate (these were the ones he actually wanted, the list also had resume, addresses for last 10 years, employment last 10 years, people you've known (references), awards, etc.  I had all of these things, but he didn't want them ha).  Anyway, he was very impressed that I had everything and that it was so organized (in sheet protectors in a binder).  I also had made him photocopies of my passport, DL, and SSC (however, these copies have to be on individual pieces of paper, NOT all on the same).
So he processed all of my info, and put in a request for me to take my ASVAB and go to MEPS two weeks later.  He said that these dates would be fine UNLESS my medical questionaire wasn't approved, in which case he would let me know.
In the meantime, I had purchased Cliff's ASVAB Test Prep on eBay for $3, free shipping!  HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!!! It's about 3" thick, and not only has each section of the ASVAB broken down into refresher courses, it has a quiz after each section as well as three full length practice tests.  This became my bible.  I brought it on vacation with me.  I read it on a boat, while tanning, in the car (had to dope myself up on dramamine to get through that without puking), I kept it with me everywhere.

It's Showtime..

You take the ASVAB at the MEPS facility.  ASVAB testing opens at 2pm, though you can show up anywhere from 2- BEFORE 5.  Though the earlier the better.  I had to work that morning and MEPS was about an hour away so I got there just before 3pm.  I checked in (had to get a visitor badge, go through a metal detector and have my bags checked).  Since I had a ways to drive to get there, my recruiter set me up to have a hotel that night, so I had my overnight bag with me.
***SIDE NOTE***
What to wear:

--Meeting with Recruiter: DRESS LIKE IT'S AN INTERVIEW
Ignore everything you've read where it says you can show up in gym shorts.  The military is not desperate right now for people, so they CAN be choosy, and they will.  My recruiter specifically complimented me on how I dressed (I wore a professional style dress and heels).  And stated that people show up in gym clothes all the time and they don't take them seriously.
--Taking the ASVAB
Again, dress nice.  You don't need a suite and tie, and jeans are acceptable, but again, this isn't high school... or nap time.  Clean, non wrinkled professional/casual attire is best.
--Going to MEPS (medical and physical)
While I thought I would need to be in ultra casual clothes for this, I was wrong.  I would have preferred to dress more professional, as MOST of the day you are just sitting there waiting to go to your next station, and the ONLY time you do anything physical, your down in your skivies so it doesn't matter what you wear for the rest of it, so again, i'd recommend professional casual.  I wore nice jeans, with a top and a blazer.  It can get quite chilly..

Anway, so I checked in to the MEPS control desk for the ASVAB, and began my "hurry up and wait".  A while later I was called up to the desk again where I had to do a fingerprint scan and photo for their biometrics recognition (basically to prove I am who I say I am when I take the test and do the medical/physical).  Then I sat and waited [again].  A WHILE later I was called up to go to take the ASVAB. I entered a small 'classroom' full of other prospects taking their tests.  I handed over my paperwork and the facilitator took me to a computer where he verified my name, social, etc.  I read over a page of do's and don'ts and began testing.
You can either use the keyboard to answer (all keys are blank except the few you would need) or use your mouse.. I used the mouse.  You are given three hours to test, though each section has a time limit.  I personally BLEW through the test in about 45 minutes tops.  Perhaps I was nervous I'd run out of time, but in all honesty the test just wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  Which makes sense seeing that I studied and studied and studied EXCESSIVELY. YAY.  Although at the time this only terrified me because everyone else took forever, and I was worried I missed a section or I failed or went to quick or whatever.
Anyway after I completed I went back to the MEPS control desk where I was told to sit down again and wait.  I noticed the other applicants waiting had received their test scores and I didn't.  I asked him and he said flatly "your recruiter has yours".  Of course this scared me even more..
It was about 5:30 when I started waiting again, but we had some SLOW movers in the testing room so we were all waiting there until 8:30 he had finally finished.  In the mean time I read magazines and chatted with other applicants.  I'd recommend bringing a book... There is a locked cubby room you keep your overnight bags in by the way.
We boarded a bus and headed back to the hotel where we met with the liason there.  He was not quite as friendly as the other people I had met that day, but it was late so it was understandable.  We filled out more paperwork, signed here, here, there, and here. Were read our rules of the night, -In your room by 10 - no persons of the opposite sex in your room - no pool, - you must check out with him to leave the hotel, etc. But seeing that we got there so late, there wasn't much options to do anything anyway, though if we had arrived earlier, they had laptops/internet, a lounge with a few TV's and I believe video games, board games, etc.
We were assigned roommates and sent up to drop off our bags, then promptly all rushed off to dinner.  Dinner was surprisingly great, and we had a whole list of options to choose from.  It was the hotels restaurant, and they had a specific menu for us.  Dinner of course was free, they had things like burgers, sandwiches, chicken fetuccini, chicken tenders, breasts, etc.  It also included soup or salad, pop/juice, and cheesecake or ice cream.
It was just about 10 so we headed up to bed.  Of course I didn't sleep great, too anxious about the next day.. which was unfortunate as we had to get up SO EARLY. My first alarm went off before 4am.  Roomie and I passed on the showers and just started getting ready.  We headed down to breakfast where we were informed we should not have caffeine or citrus (it throws off your tests), which SUCKED because it was 4am and caffeine is exactly what I needed.
We were herded back onto a bus and taken back to MEPS.
Apon exiting the bus we all lined up outside the doors of the building, where we were broken into lines based on what you were doing (shipping off, swearing in, medical/physical). And were allowed in the building 5 people at a time as they went through the metal detector and bags were checked.  Then we all lined up against another wall with our bags on the floor in front of us while everyone finished up.  Then we headed to the MEPS department where we put our bags away and were sent off to our branch office.  I was the ONLY coastie there so my wait wasn't long... well wouldn't have been long if the guy had showed up on time ;)
Anway when I met with him almost the first thing I said was that I was worried about my ASVAB results since I hadn't been given them like everyone else.  He said he would find out what they were for me a bit later.  He processed some paperwork then I was sent back to MEPS Control desk to wait in another line.  One line to get my colored folder (we all had a different color folder, I assume to prevent mixing folders with someone beside you). Then another line to get scanned and fingerprinted in again (not full fingerprints, just your index fingers).
Then we were all herded in to another classroom where we were to have our medical briefing.  We had one guy brief us on the fact we were having a briefing and another do the full briefing.  Mind you it was SO early, and we hadn't had coffee and it was an hour and 45 minute medical briefing.  We filled out paperwork and each did a breathalyzer test. Then sent out for urinalysis.
Girls and Guys were split up, and two at a time we went in to the restroom where a woman literally watches you pee.  You pee in a cup, and can't take your cup out of her view AT ALL.  Then take your pee to a large window where you hold it and wait for a guy to test your urine (for pregnancy and a couple other things).  You sign off that your sample is yours and then are ushered out.
Next I had the blood pressure test (after waiting and waiting of course).  And actually my blood pressure, which is usually very low, was VERY HIGH. I still think it was his machine.  Anyway he looked concerned and said this could disqualify me. Thankfully he tested again and it was fine.
More waiting and more waiting then blood test.  I've been donating blood for years so this was no big deal, plus I have a fatty vein on my left arm that's easy to find.
More waiting more waiting then had my first medical interview with the doc.  He shined a light in my eyes, checked out my ears and throat, and went over some of my medical paperwork, just a quick scan though.
Then I had the eye exam (after much more waiting, no doubt).  I wear contacts ****BRING YOUR CONTACT LENS CASE**** You do not need to bring your glasses, but have to take your contacts out for the test.  Since I am doing Coast Guard I did not have to do a depth perception test so this was pretty quick.  I looked in a machine and he asked which line I could read: 11a in both eyes, so my near vision was 20/20, then he sent me to a second machine to test my distance, of course without contacts it was very blurry but I chose what I could make out and he messed with some settings and it was clear as day, and he printed out my prescription -2.00 in each eye. They have contact solution there by the way.. So I put my contacts back in and cleaned out my lens case, since my roomie forgot to bring her lens case I let her use mine.
More waiting then off to the hearing test.  Four at a time we entered this small box and were set in individual chairs facing a wall with headphones and a clicker on them.  We were instructed to put the head phones on and whenever we hear a set of three beeps to press the trigger.  This was NOT EASY.  They do all different frequencies, and there are definitely periods of time where there are no beeps at all (which naturally paranoid me since I didn't hear anything).  Don't worry if you are the first one done, apparently you don't all start at the same time. I was the first done, and it was almost 10 minutes before the others were all finished.
That was it for the medical portion, just had the physical left.  More waiting (until all the girls were done with everything), then we were taken to a large FREEZING room with a long bench along one wall.  We were told right away to strip down to panties and bra.
**SIDE NOTE:  there were girls in there in sports bras, in fancy bras, and even a girl with a see through lace bra.  I tried to keep it plain with a pretty basic bra and panties, but again some girls had fancy panties, and one even had boys boxer briefs on.  The nurse didn't seem to care what we had on.
One at a time and in front of everyone you go to the opposite wall and are weighted and measured.  Then told to stand in plie' position (heels together, toes pointed about 45 degrees out).  She's checking your arch here.  You also have to hold your arms straight out and she circles around you checking God knows what.
Once everyone is finished we were broken in to two groups, and 4 at a time we did our exercises.
The exercises  weren't at all for agility, it's just to test that your body CAN do the different poses and positions.  We did the duck walk (quite awkward and not that easy), lots of flinging your arms back and forth, waving your hands about, slamming on your knees, going from sitting on your legs to standing while keeping your hands on your hips, walking on your knees, walking on your toes, walking on your heels. And you bend over towards your toes so she can check for scoliosis.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, though for the more shy girls it was harder, obviously, everyone is staring at your half neked looking a fool.
Afterwards we were given paper gowns to wear, and were told to take off our bra and panties.  One at a time we were taken in another room where the nurse and a doctor (ours was a male) had us sign more paperwork then hop up on the exam table.  He checks your breathing, then you lay back and put your feet up on the table (no stirrups here), and he does a quick breast exam. Then over your gown he pushes on your abdominal area. Then tells you to spread your labia apart.  He lifts up the paper blanket for literally 1 second and says "ok".  I assume he was checking to verify I didn't have male parts.
Then you head back out and get dressed again. Then head back for the final medical interview where he asks any clarifying questions, like your drinking habits, about any other medical issues, etc.
Then back to the medical control desk you wait some more, while they make copies of your paperwork and stamp it approved or disqualified.
It was nearly 2pm when I finally left the medical wing and headed back to the Coast Guard office where the gentleman from earlier says he got my ASVAB scores.. he's shaking his head.. my heart drops.. he sits down.. I say.. "oh god.. that bad?" Then he proceeds to say "you can have whatever job you want, you did incredible on the ASVAB" WOOOOOPWOOOPPPP!!!!!!!ahhhahhaklfjadlfkjasjdflkajsdflajASDFADFAJDF.  I literally screamed!
He took the rest of my paperwork and processed a few things then told me to head back to my recruiters office.
Once I got there I sat with my recruiter and he processed some final paperwork and set up my swear in date and put in a request for my ship date. And that was it.
I don't choose my job until my swear in and sign my contract. So I have two weeks to figure that all out for sure.

And that was it.  Exhausting.  Literally emotionally and physically draining!

So the things to keep in mind:
Have your documents!
Act and dress professional
Wear whatever undies you want, just NO thongs.
No flip flops, whatever shoes you wear, you must have socks.
Be patient, and definitely friendly.  Yes ma'am, yes sir, thank you, good morning, etc etc.

Yay.  That's it.  I guess I'll give an update when I swear in :)


So, after weeks and weeks of studying.  And even studying things I don't have to know yet (like the phonetic alphabet.. alfa bravo charlie delta echo foxtrot golf hotel india juliette kilo lima mike november oscar p quebec romeo sierra tango uniform victor whiskey xray yankee zulu .. haha just wanted to see if I remember... wait.. what's P.... peter? ugh Idk, let me check. PAPA.  There we go.
Anyway, it was nice to go home, go to bed, wake up, and not worry about studying and learning and remembering.  The hard part is over (until boot camp of course).

If you are joining, best of luck! Let me know if you have any questions!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Random Tips and Tricks I have up my sleeve

Prevent Freezer Burnt Ice Cream:

Sometimes there is a really fantastic flavor of ice cream you just want to savor.  And by savor I mean draw out the consumption process as long as possible to extend out your continual level of happiness.  The downside to this is that nasty crystallized mess at collects on top of the delicacy beneath.  Solution: cut out a small piece of wax paper and press against the remaining ice cream. Voila! (plastic wrap would work as well).

Transporting a big knife (you know, to a picnic):


So I spent the 4th of July in Idaho on the lake in the sun.  I had this brilliant idea to cut a whole in a watermelon and pour watermelon schnapps inside. So we are about to go out on the boat, and I didn't want to carry the watermelon down to the dock dripping everywhere so I grabbed the melon and grabbed a knife and out I went. Safety first of course, so I wrapped the knife in a clump of aluminum foil and threw it in my bag.  Now of course, this IS NOT fool proof, but it did cover the sharp edges, and made it substantially safer to transport.

Watermelon Bomb:
Cut a square hole out of a watermelon about 1"
Insert bottle of your favorite alcohol, I stuck with the safe and pansy Watermelon Schnapps
(you can either pour it until full then wait and continue the process, or if you are craft enough for it to drain slowly direct from the bottle then YAY for you!).
Keep the square you cut out so you can replug your hole.
..replug the hole.  I covered the plug and hole with duct tape to prevent leaking since I was on a boat.
Every so often remove tape and plug and fill with more alcohol.
The longer you soak it in the better.
Slice and enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
I did some googling and found an excellent take on this idea... though her way seems a bit messier..
http://islandvittles.com/2010/07/11/sunday-lunch-vodka-infused-watermelon/

Traveling with Jewelry:

You know, Tin Foil is the most amazing creation in the world.. I'm pretty sure... well, I guess except for the Honey Lavender Ice Cream they are serving at the delicious Ice Creamery down the street. Anyway, so I have an abundance of jewelry (all costume cheapo stuff of course), and I have this OCD with being extremely color coordinated, so you can imagine I'm a severe over packer.  So I have always had a dilemma with transporting my necklaces and came up with the brilliant idea one day of laying out a piece of foil, then laying all of my necklaces about an inch or so apart then folding the necklace and foil over the next necklace and foil, until I reach the end.  Are you picturing it? Essentially it becomes a foil roll of beauty.

So it stinks doesn't it?

So vinegar is another one of those miracle products you know?  Anyway, Vinegar does lots of crafty things.  Like you can pour it in to a dye bath and your color will adhere better.  But better yet, you know when your towels sometimes start to smell like mildew?  Maybe you have bad air circulation in the bathroom, or maybe you didn't hang it up and let it fester in a damp state (tsk tsk). Anyway, there is hope!  You can throw all those towels in the bathtub with hot water and a TON of regular ol white vinegar (they sell it cheap in the big gallon size bottle).  Let it sit a bit and transfer them all to the washing machine and wash as usual.  Another alternative is to just dump several cups of vinegar directly in to the washing machine itself and run a load as usual, although it just works better to let it soak in the tub.  You can do this every once and a while but it does last pretty well!

Another thing you can do with vinegar:

Let's say you have a smokers or pet odor problem, perhaps the room with the kitty litter? Vinegar is a neutralizer, so if you pour vinegar in a bowl and set the bowl (somewhere safe) in the room for a few hours the odor will soak in to the vinegar.  What you'll notice is the vinegar will start to reek! haha, but it removes the odor from the room!  Granted you'll be smelling vinegar for a while, but removing the odor instead of masking it is always a plus.

And of course you have the other fantastic uses of vinegar:
-some plants thrive on acidic soil, like Azaleas, mix some vinegar in with water when watering them.
-other plants choke on vinegar (great for killing weeds, spray on full strength on sidewalks and driveways, just be careful it will kill the other plants as well.
-Fresh cut flowers? Add 2 tbsp of vinegar and one teaspoon of sugar to the vase
-Ants HATE vinegar (and cinnamon).. I'm just sayin
-Itchy skin, bug bites? Add a few tablespoons to bath water, for bug bites soak a cotton ball and apply driectly
-APPLE CIDER VINEGAR is a miracle 'feel better' aide.  Great for the flu, the cold, and curbing appetite

Ok enough about vinegar..

DROWNING IN CLUB CARDS!!!

So maybe you are like me, maybe you're not.  But if you are, you don't carry around a purse because you have an irrational fear of your shoulder falling off (fear created from too many years of BIG bags being in style, allowing me to store my entire apartment in my purse), anyway needless to say my little coin purse containing my DL, cash and Debit card gets full reeeeaaaallll fast, too fast to be carrying around the endless number of club cards I was toting around.  Check out this site: http://www.justoneclubcard.com/ to have up to 8 different club cards combined in to just one.  It's brilliant.

Ready to up and have a sex change because you can't find a bra that fits?

I know.. this seems quite rash, however after many many many shopping trips ending in frustration over Muffin Top Breasts I put my tail between my legs and headed to Nordstrom's.  Now I am NOT a big advocate of overpriced brands.  In fact I generally steer clear. It kind of goes against my spending the least amount as humanly possible gene, however bras are where I finally drew the line.  Perhaps you are lucky and any ol' bra at Target or Penny's will fit you fine.  Great, Fantastic, RUB IT IN WHY DON'T YOU?  However, if you are frustrated, and plane old tired of trying on the 6 at a time limit of bras everywhere you go, then truck yourself on over to Nordstrom's.

Here is my experience.  I enter Nordstrom's and make a beeline for the escalator up to the third floor... trying to avoid eye contact from any salesperson passerby.  Successfully make to the the unmentionables section and sigh a bout of relief.  I am almost instantly approached by a cheery, cushy, red headed helper asking what it is I am looking for.  I don't beat around the bush here and just say "UGHHHHW WAAAAAA WOAH IS ME I CAN'T FIND A BRA BLAHHHHHHHHH" .. or maybe it was more like "uhhh you know I'm just real frustrated with the lack of bras that fit my obviously odd shaped womanhood".. Red head chuckles and says well, lets get you fitted and I'll bring some options to you. That's it. No looking around on my part at all, just headed in to the fitting room.  Remove my clothes (FYI, don't wear a dress when you go.. and DEFINITELY don't wear a thong.  WHOOPS!). And she measures me up, now some of you might get the heebie jeebies over the thought of this. Suck it up. Do you want a bra that fits or not?  It's just boobies. ;)
Anway, she departs my fitting room and I stand here half neked awaiting her return.. I'm staring in the mirror wondering if it's broken or if I really have gained some wait, when she returns with her arms full of an array of bras. I try on a few she takes a look we discuss the pros and cons, she takes some bras out and brings a different batch in. Over and over, I must have tried on the whole store I was so excited they were fitting!  So I GUESSSS I have to admit that sometimes paying more is worth it.  I ended up only leaving with two.. because they are balls expensive, though I happily would have left with my own arm full.  But the moral of the story, get your boobies measured and get yourself a quality bra.
SAVE THE TATA'S!

Anyway, I suppose that is good for now, I'll have to compile a list next time as I complete odd tips and tricks I do, it's hard to be put on the spot you know!